The New Adventures of…Gouverneur Morris.

Dear Diary,

Today was ever so fine, as I was finally able to woo the Lady Westword away from her husband and to join me for some discrete necking and some indiscrete innuendo under the pear branches. Clearly Charles knew nothing when he said my cravat [...]

The New Adventures of…Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla

“Nicky, are you quite sure this is going to work?”

“You’ve never doubted me before, Sam.”

“Before, it was all experiments and labratories and…I’m holding a ray gun, for Pete’s sake!”

“As am I. And we’ll need them if we have any [...]

The New Adventures of…Joan of Arc

The girl couldn’t have been out of her teens, but Ronny was willing to give her the benefit of a doubt. And she clearly knew her weapons, the way she cracked open that sig to look down the barrel. But goddamn, there was no way [...]

The New Adventures of…Muhammad Ali

Leroy wanted to be the greatest. So he bought The Greatest™.

“It’s more than just a personal body upgrade,” the doctor had said. “It’s a personality upgrade, a consciousness upgrade. You’ll see the world in a whole new way.”

Leroy had concerns, which he tried to [...]

No Sunday edition yesterday, because no one wrote anything. Clearly, the idea of hard working astronauts had no appeal to anyone but me. Ah, well. Let’s see what happens this week.

Even Hitler had a sister in law. Bridget Dowling was married to Adolf’s half-brother Alois and claimed that the famous dictator moved to Liverpool [...]