Man I love my martial arts metaphors, because they’re so true again and again.
The other night in kung fu we worked conditioning. Not cardio exercise, but real body conditioning. We worked arm conditioning, which left us bruised and the skin bright red, then we started working torso conditioning. The drill was to kick your partner, whose hands were above his or her head, in the stomach, and then in the side. Then we worked on kicking the thigh and giving an elbow to the stomach.
Understand, this was not at full force, and you were to work with your partner to see if you were going too hard or too soft. The goal was not to make them double over with the breath knocked out of them; the goal was to get the body used to being hit, to see how to properly tighten the muscles, to breathe out at the right time, so you can take a hit and not be incapacitated. (Ever been hit or kicked in the stomach? It’s incapacitating. It’s not even pain, it’s just your diaphragm pushes ALL the air out of your lungs and refuses to contract to let you inhale again, pouting like a little kid whose ball has been taken away, and you’re lying on the floor praying to every god you know of to let you breathe again.)
I recently got an email that, two years ago- heck, one year ago- would have sent me into squealing fits of glee because of the potential awesomeness it promised. But I read it, discussed it with my husband, calmly answered it, and now I move on. I’m realistic, not giddy. And it’s because I’ve learned how to take a punch. I’m tougher now, and that helps me rebound from disappointment faster, but also keeps me from getting giddy when the first hint of good news wafts by.
Do I miss the eager squeal of excitement? Sure, it’s a fun rush. But I’m saving it for real good news, not the potential.
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3 Responses to One thing good about pain
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It’s funny, I was thinking about a similar topic earlier today, though without the martial arts metaphor.
For me, I was thinking of it as a bad thing. Feeling like the pain and the disappointments had chipped away the ability to feel the giddiness and the joy.
Your perspective is helpful. The potential is still there, it’s just waiting for the right time to come out, even while you protect yourself from the inevitable gut shots.
Thanks, Mur.
Aw Blue, I’m sorry for that angle. And yeah, I feel a little sad about the whole loss of innocence. I hear beginning writers get all excited about a partial request from an agent and I think, I remember that glee. Now I just see it as one step in a long journey that could go who knows where. But the more excited you get, the harder the fall. So I want to get excited about something real, not something “maybe.”
This is a great post, Mur. It really rings true to me as well, though for me its about finishing projects. Getting used to finishing things is just about as important to me as actually finishing them now, because that way I don’t crash for a month after a rough draft. I’m still not all the way there, but I’m recovering faster now.