Is figuring out how to feel “accomplished.”
Today I got up early for a doc appt. On my way out of the doc’s (or maybe the way in; I have no idea), I dropped my credit card in the parking lot. A Good Samaritan found it, but I wasn’t called till I got home (25 min drive). Already pissed at spilling coffee on myself, I read some email to calm down, then did my drive back to Raleigh to retrieve it. I got home in a very foul mood, and did some more online admin stuff, ate lunch, and suddenly it was noon and I had nothing done. Then wrote 1061 words on a difficult scene in WAR, and I had a sliver of time for a nap before I had to get the kiddo to take her to Chapel Hill for eyeglasses adjustment. (Keeping track, locals? That’s two trips to Raleigh, one to the other side of Durham, then on to Chapel Hill. Tonight I have to go to art class, which is another trek to the other side of Durham.)
Now it’s 5pm and I’m looking at my day and wondering what happened. My two triumphs today: allowing Ms. Regina, a very nice lab tech, draw my blood, and writing 1000 words. Oh, and I changed my shirt from the coffee stained one.
I wrote. And I will go to art class tonight. Those are good things. And yet, I have so much else to do I feel like I’ve pretty much pissed away the day. But I know if I had done some of the other things on my list instead of writing, I would have felt bad for having not written. This makes me wonder if my brain is trying to sabotage me. Can I never be satisfied, can I never look at work done and go, “there, that was a good use of time!”? I have no idea.
Will try to record tonight. I have much to say – will also choose and announce my new assistant.
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8 Responses to One of the hardest things about working from home – for me…
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Mur, you have one of the greatest gigs in the world. You have the ability to write and it reaches out to others peoples hearts and minds.
When you look at the overall scope of things – what Will Mur Lafferty be remembered for at the end?
“You know that Mur sure could fold socks like nobody’s business”
No the work that you create will be a legacy, that gets to live on after you.
This reminds me of a quote “It’s better to regret something you have done, than something you haven’t”
You are doing what you’re great at, don’t feel bad for only doing that.
Well, if you’d not gone back to get your credit card, you really would have felt bad about your day later. Things get in the way sometimes. I think most people are too hard on themselves about it, and maybe this is my laid-back west-coast attitude speaking, but I think sometimes you just have to “go with the flow” as they say. The real measure of accomplishment at the end of they day, in my book at least, is whether I’ve lived up to my values. Not every day will be a triumph, but likewise, just because it’s not a triumph doesn’t mean it’s a failure either.
Bottom line: go easy on yourself, sounds like you had quite a day. You get plenty done most days, from what it sounds like. And it’s not like you were playing popcap games instead of working–you were getting stuff done!
Honestly, you got a ton done, just not necessarily all that you wanted to get done.
I keep a list of weekly and daily goals to keep me on track of what I need to do. Each evening, I plan for the next day, and each Sunday I plan for the next week. Some days I’m better at getting things checked off than others. I rarely ever complete everything on the list. But I sure as hell try.
I feel successful when I get feedback on a story or a blog post, when I sign a contract or deposit a check. On the family side of things, so long as my kids and husband are okay, I’m okay.
One last thought, sometimes it helps to look back on what you’ve already done. I’ll bet you’d be amazed at how much you’ve accomplished over the years, between your podcasts, books, etc. You do more in a week than most people do all year, Mur.
I’ve been working form home for a little while now, and I’m finding that a to-do-list-type thingee is my best friend. I just try to keep in mind the bare minimum of what I need to do that day, and make that a priority. Everything else is gravy.
I used to keep a regular to-do list, but then I was like, “Hey, man, too much pressure.”
Hmm… I guess that might make me sound like a bit of a slacker. Today, the California surfer inside of me is running free, I guess.
Hi Mur. I have the same problem at work. What Helen said really helps. I make a “Daily 5″ list of things I need to get done. Sometimes they all get done, sometime only one or two. I can still look back at the end of the day and see that I accomplished something.
Also, my wife homeschools our daughter. There are just “some of those days” where all plans go to heck. I know it’s hard, but focus on the good things you did do (1000 words) and the enjoyable things (art class) and maybe it will be okay.
I used to have a notepad and pencil that sat in a conspicuous place. I would write down everything I was doing that day, no matter how big or small.
At the end of the day, I would put a line through the things I did. It was very useful.
You might enjoy Stephen Fry’s blog post on the same subject at http://www.stephenfry.com/2009/09/05/emerging-into-the-light/
(excerpt)
‘But … it’s still so bloody difficult. I may always have been weirdly fascinated by the processes and outward routines of other writers, but deeper than that I really needed to know how much they too grunted, swore and howled at the sheer horror of having to write. “I sit at the typewriter and curse a bit,” said one of my earliest literary heroes, P. G. Wodehouse. Was he a special case?’
Honestly, I wish I could have such a day. I am a single dad (with a wonderful little 3yo daughter), with a day job that is mentally draining, still have to cook, clean, and entertain child in the evening, while also trying to produce a weekly ‘cast, and work on personal projects, including currently two short stories.
You have been published (published!) by your previous hard work, don’t let one day get you down. I love your work, and you are one of few that has inspired me to continue my ‘cast and writing. Keep it up, you are amazing!